I’m sure this might sound like a poorly disguised attempt to find a job, but it isn’t. Not exactly, anyway. Lately all I can think about is what I would do if I weren’t doing, well, whatever it is I do. Maybe it’s that everyone is on vacation for the month and the city is empty. Maybe I’m having another third-to-mid-life crisis or something. Whatever the cause, I can’t get this thought out of my head: If I were to pack up and move back to the United States, what would I do?

I’d want to live in a city. I’m addicted to the fast-paced urban jungle life. The suburbs would bore me and a rural setting would kind of freak me out. After years of simple/house church, I certainly couldn’t ever go back to the traditional sort, so I’d have to find some like-minded individuals to be my spiritual family and to help me plant other spiritual families. That much I’m sure of.

I would definitely get a job. I’m not really skilled at anything, so I’m not sure what I’d do, exactly, but I’m really not comfortable as a professional minister. What sort of job requires no special skills, pays well, and would allow plenty of free time for me to plant churches? Other than the job I already have, I mean. I could wait tables, or serve coffee, provided I didn’t have to remember orders or actually make the coffee. I guess there’s always politics.

One of the unfortunate side-effects of being on the field is the isolation. Email and prayer newsletters can’t make up for the years of my experience here while life has marched on there. My friends and family back home don’t know me, they remember me. Needless to say, I don’t have a lot of “contacts” that could help me find a job or get involved planting churches. It’d be like starting from scratch.

The other big side-effect of being a missionary is financial. We are well taken care of here. The IMB does a tremendous job of making sure that we have everything we need, and even a lot of things we don’t need. Despite the complete support of the faithful people who send us, it is very difficult to save money on the field. Some of it has to do with how expensive it is to live in Western Europe. More of it has to do with the cost of flying home on vacation. More than I’d like to admit has to do with the fact that we have Starbucks here… Starting over in the U.S. would be an expensive endeavor. A car. A house or apartment, at least enough to pay the rent until I got a job. Thinking about money gives me a headache.

Anyway, this question of “life after missions” is really bothering me. Even though I’m not planning on returning to the States any time soon, I feel like it’s a question I should have answered or at least thought through. Just in case.