Sticking to the generalities has, unfortunately, made for a negative tone in several of my posts. Good people like yourself feel the need to remind me that I am in no position to judge others, and that I should be more concerned about myself.

So what then? Should I preface everything I write with a disclaimer stating my own guilt? Maybe. In some ways, I feel like a pastor preparing for his next sermon. Who am I to say what I’m about to say?

When I wrote that “missionaries compete…,” I wasn’t accusing people of competition. I was saying that because churches back home are distracted from us, we are consistantly trying to get their attention and remind them to remember and pray for us. I’m not sure that would sound any better, or less piously judgemental to you, but I wanted to clarify.

Please stick around and read my newest post, entitled “Thank You.”

Your final paragraph asks the same question I asked while attending Strategy Coordinators training. My comment was: “So this means we are in competition with both those independent missionaries who intenerate for two years before going to the field, trying to get churches to support them, and all of the new generation of IMB Strategy Coordinators who are trying to get churches to support them.” The response was NO, NEVER, we are NOT in competition…It was laughable then, and even more-so now when we are being asked to find at least 5 churches with which we can have a “very close” relationship. Bring people to your country, have a web-site, write these 5 (at a minimum) churches, put people on your electronic mailing list…no, we are not in any sort of competition.

that said, i know for me that these feelings can lead to what i call missionary gnosticism. definition: we think we get it and no one else does. we have seen the world, experienced it, engaged it and that has given us the right to critique it. know what i mean? it is pride dressed up in a very martyred missionary costume. when i get surly and want to start pointing my prophetic finger at everyone, i just think about “the others” (i just finished season one of lost so excuse the reference) they consist of those who could careless about new mission trends or sbc politics. they give to missions because they want people to know god. i am talking about folks like those that attend my home church, they give to me monthly not because they have a overwhelming burden for my people group but because they care about me. i am talking about mr and mrs normal, everyday baptist. they are many but we rarely hear their voice. they are quiet, without agendas and faithful givers. these are the people i see myself representing. these are the ones that make me believe that i can stay here in their name and on their dollar. the rest, the “evil others” can just keeping fighting about women in ministry, or the alcohol issue or whether or not we should homeschool. maybe that will keep them busy enough that they will leave us alone.

we are veterans of a war. no question. but honestly, if we are seeking the applause of those that sent us, we have the wrong audience and that may be our biggest problem.